Just A Suggestion....

Ever since I can remember...I've prided myself on my excellent memory, near perfect recall of facts figures and my endless mental warehousing of utterly useless trivia but somehow all of these accomplishments went sailing out the window  this last Wednesday.

I had a Dr.'s appointment...at eleven thirty and it was a relatively important date for me so I went to bed earlier than usual the night before, woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed and after dropping off the children at school, came home and got ready for the appointment.

I left early so I could get there on time and was, as usual, ten minutes early. I walked up to the receptionist's window and when she asked how she may help me, I promptly answered that my appointment was at 11:30 with Kim. She shuffled through her papers, looked in a schedule book, rummaged through one of those wire paper bins full of loose papers and then turned and asked me to tell her again what time the appointment was...eleven thirty, I replied as I watched her turn her chair towards her computer, entering my name. The puzzled look on her face confused me for a minute until she turned her chair back in my direction and informed me my appointment was NEXT Wednesday!

Stress

Excess stress can manifest itself in a variety of emotional, behavioral, and even physical symptoms and the symptoms of stress vary enormously among different individuals. Common  physical symptoms often reported by those experiencing excess stress include sleep disturbances, muscle tension and  headache.

The process of learning to control stress is life-long and will not only lead to better health but a greater ability to cope with life's little irritations we may encounter in our daily lives. Some relaxation techniques such as meditation and deep breathing are extremely beneficial, in my opinion, meditation benefits are many and can bring about feelings of confidence and self control, increased concentration, better relationships and reduced stress levels as well as an increase in:

~Confidence and self control

~ Improved concentration

~Inner certainty

~ Ability to focus and work efficiently

~ Ability to let go of negative emotions such as anger

Meditating is actually easier than you may imagine, most of us have dabbled in meditation by participating in conscious relaxation. Start by paying attention to your breathing. The practical effort to focus completely on breathing  takes our minds away from the "mental clutter" and leads to a feeling of calm. With repeated effort, the goal of clearing your mind (to think of nothing)  does occur and the process of meditation takes on its own energy. The result is peace, serenity and calmness.

Meditation suggestions:

1.) Make time to meditate. Set aside enough time in your daily routine for meditating. The effects of meditation are most noticeable when you do it regularly and consistently rather than sporadically.

2.) Find or create a quiet, relaxing environment. It's especially important, when you're starting out, to avoid any obstacles to attention. Turn off any TV sets, phone(s) or other noisy appliances. If you play music, make sure it's calm, repetitive and gentle, so as not to break your concentration. Meditating outside can be good, as long as you don't sit near a busy roadway or another source of loud noise.

3.)  Sit on level ground. Sit on a cushion if the ground is uncomfortable. You don't have to twist your limbs into the lotus position or adopt any unusual postures. The important thing is to keep your back straight, as this will help with breathing later on. You can also meditate on a chair. Make sure your back is straight, whether you lean against the chair or sit free does not matter. Your feet should rest solidly on the ground. Any position in which you're relaxed but your back is straight is permissible, even lying down...but be careful that you're not so relaxed that you fall asleep. In warm weather, consider watching the clouds.

4.) Keep your eyes half-open without focusing on anything. If this is too distracting or difficult, close them or find something steady to focus on such as a small candle flame.

5.) Breathe deeply and slowly from your abdomen rather than your chest. You should feel your stomach rise and fall while your chest stays relatively still.

6.) Relax every muscle in your body. Don't rush this, as it takes time to fully relax. Do it bit by bit, starting at your toes, and working up to your head, until the tension melts away. 

*You may notice that your mind wants to wander, bouncing from thought to thought, making observations about other things. Gently bring your attention back to a single point until it rests there naturally. The goal is to allow the "chattering" in your mind to gradually fade away. Find an "anchor" to settle your mind.*

7.) Once you've trained your mind to focus on just one thing at a time, the next step is focus on nothing at all, essentially "clearing" your mind. This requires tremendous discipline but is the pinnacle of meditation. After focusing on a single point as described in the previous step, you can either cast it away, or observe it impartially and let it come and then go, without labeling it as "good" or "bad". Take the same approach to any thoughts which return to your mind until silence perseveres.












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Behavioral Modification?

In my house life can be somewhat chaotic because between my room mate and I, we have four children several cats and two dogs. The children range in ages 12 years old to 8 years old and as all children are...each has their very individual personality. We have one bathroom and three bedrooms and space is at a premium as one can probably guess with only one bathroom and three little girls (poor Conor is the lone boy in a house of women) our mornings are completely and utterly insane. As you may have guessed I am heading into the deep murky waters of just how to get along with each other and up to just yesterday...it has definitely had it's hairy days and hazy grey areas. Anyhow, we all sat down the other day and decided that the stress had to be removed from the house and we were all going to brainstorm ideas in order to ensure the smooth sailing of each individual that lives here.

One of the issues that we had been dealing with was the lack of personal space and personal privacy...take the telephone for instance.....One of my greatest pet peeves is being in an important conversation and have one or more children vying for my attention and as they do I notice that the loudness level slowly increases until I stop my conversation and address the child(ren) involved. My tolerance level immediately drops and I find myself turning into what I like to term "mommy dearest" and when all said and done...I'm rather disgruntled and crabby and unfortunately that feeling would follow me into dinner time and even as far as bedtime which inhibited my ability to unwind myself and get to bed at a decent time.

Our solution will now be that the child(ren) that insist on this behavior will immediately go to the table and sit quietly and respectfully until the adult that instructed them to do so believes that said child has sat there and successfully and completed their time... then they are called aside and this behavior or attitude is discussed and understood as to why this was inappropriate and the best way to avoid future issues. If it happens again, then a toy or privilege will be removed and they must earn it back.

So far the results of our brainstorming session and resulting modifications in our lives has had an immediate and positive result and I can personally say I'm absolutely thrilled that at the end of the day I am not ready to run screaming from the house pulling out my hair and bedtimes are blissfully calm and peaceful. I hope that this endeavor will continue to pay out in respectful, responsible and well rounded children....but just in case, I have an emergency suitcase ready and waiting by the front door....