Tarot Shadow Work- The Pain

This week, we move to the fifth position in the Star of Recovery... pain. The card I drew is The Fool which has the shadow qualities of lacking playfulness, rigidity and not listening to your inner voice. I personally am terrible at trusting my instincts or "gut" feelings because I learned not to trust my judgment and rely on those adults around me for their assessment of any given situation. That kind of blind faith in others' leadership is not always a good thing as in my case of an alcoholic home. Perceptions and the general view of life were distorted and looking back, I did not realize how that would affect me as I grew older.

The World card, missing the joy of the moment, affected my ability to experience joy because I was always worrying about what was going to happen next...how do I prepare and will it be another drama filled  situation. This created a certain amount of rigidity within me and allowed me to feel a like I may have had a certain amount of control over what was taking place in my life. Hindsight shows this feeble attempt to control my surroundings followed me to this day and it's difficult to just stop and realize it's okay, nothing terrible is going to happen if I take time out and just have some fun.

The human spirit needs joy and playfulness in order to remain healthy and I really try to stop myself when that old tape recorder starts replaying all those old messages in my head. I am learning to grow and move past that pain and anger and just stop and smell the roses. Suppressing ones gut impressions and keeping such a tight reign on oneself can result in many ailments like ulcers, high blood pressure and even stroke. It robs you of that childlike ability to approach life from a playful perspective and can make you old before your time.

Next week is the sixth position...The Gift Of Wisdom

Serenity Sunday

Well, the painting is nearly finished...just the hallway left to be done. It's been quite the experience to be sure especially since all the furniture and knick knacks had to be moved from area to area since we couldn't exactly haul it all outside in the torrential rains we've been having. There are still pockets of things left to be put back into place but at least it's getting there. The whole living room has an almost zen feeling with it's new colors and I thought that maybe this next week I'd peruse the local import store for a few little items like a zen rock garden and perhaps some oriental accents...maybe a bamboo plant or two...

My List:

1.) My children

2.) My cats

3.) Earth toned paint

4.) Sara Brightman (beautiful voice!)

5.) My iPod

6.) Lots and lots of laughter

7.) The soft spring breeze

8.) Sweet smelling flowers

9.) Fresh brewed coffee

10.) Toodles ( one of my black cats) laying on my pillow, purring in my ear

Pamela Coleman Smith And The Rider-Waite Tarot

Pamela Colman Smith, the woman best known for her art behind the Rider-Waite tarot deck, was born on February 16, 1878 at 28 Belgrave Road in Pimlico, Middlesex, now London. Her father, Charles Edward Smith, was an American merchant from Brooklyn and was related to actor William Gillette, who was best known for his role as Sherlock Holmes. Pamela's mother, Corinne Colman, was Jamaican and came from a very artistic family of painters.

In June of 1899, Pamela set about making a name for herself as a writer and illustrator. Her first published works were illustrated books based on Jamaican folk tales, including: Annancy Stories (1902), a story about the traditional African folk figure (Anansi the Spider.) As a published writer and artist, Pamela gained access to the artistic and literary circles of London, and was introduced to the poet William Butler Yeats.In 1903, while illustrating some of his work, Yeats introduced her into the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn just as the order was beginning to break up.It was here she first came into contact with Arthur Edward Waite and the Rider-Waite tarot was born.

Pamela Colman-Smith during her lifetime was a women who didn’t seek notoriety, nor did she seek fame, all she wanted was to be recognized for her talents as an artist. She never married. She had no known heirs or family except for the elderly long time female friend and companion who had shared her life for the past 40 years. When she died on the 18th September 1951, Pamela was penniless and her life’s work obscure. There was no funeral procession to honor her life and no memorial service to evaluate the impact her work would have upon future generations. Her grave site, if one exists, remains unknown.