Tarot Shadow Work- Coping Strategies

This week I'm going to start discussing some of those wonderful coping strategies and to start off with the number one coping strategy...DENIAL!

Denial seems to be quite popular in today's society, for  example's sake, look at alcoholism ( a topic not so near and dear to my heart.) A person in denial might make excuses for his/her drinking and blame other people or circumstances. A person in denial might think that alcohol is not a problem because he or she holds a job or has never been in an accident.

Often if we look at the root issues that cause the alcohol addiction, we can see a history of childhood abuse, neglect and other problems. They then develope  denial as a coping mechanism and that leads to harmful behaviors which may have been avoided if they had dealt with their "Shadow-selves". Often the person is not trying to be dishonest with themselves and others, it is an unconcious process and  functions to "deny" that which cannot be dealt with on a concious level, due to  emotional traumas .  The next step in dealing with the denial is to take the twenty one Major Arcana cards and shuffle them while concentrating on what information is needed in order to know about denial. The card I drew was The Fool.

Looking at The Fool, I keep in mind the questions of... "What I may be avoiding...?" "What is it that I am afraid of...?" and "How does this card represent the "blind spot" that blocks my growth...?"


The Fool's Shadow Qualities are: not listening to my inner voice, refusing to try the "new", lacking playfulness and rigidity. I for one can truly speak from the heart when I say that the "blind spot" that blocks my growth is all of the above Shadow Qualities! I learned at a very early age that my inner voice could not be trusted since I was always told that (whatever the situation happened to be), it wasn't really as bad as I thought it was, playfulness was something to be avoided because I must remain guarded for I never knew when life would become dramatica and traumatic, so I was always poised for the storm so to speak.

As far as rigidity goes, things were always so chaotic so I set up a rigid routine for myself both emotionally and mentally just so I could have some system   that I could count on remaining constant (even if it was somewhat crazy, now that I look back on it.) So much of my childhood I have forgotten and really need to look at now, so that I can move past the blocked paths to healing my Shadow self. This book has really brought to my attention little coping skills my mind  has created, just to be able to survive my turbulent childhood.

Next week...I look at another coping skill, repression.


**Chariot Update**
My car is now running better than it has in months! It turns out there was a  little screw (supposed to) be holding the rotor in place. It had worked it's way loose and therefore the car  jumped time and ceased to run. I  can now reassure everyone that I just had a screw loose!

Tarot Shadow Work- Coping Skills

Continuing "Into the light..." we eventually come to coping skills. Now this is a subject not so near and dear to my heart because it seems like I've developed quite a few of them over the years and it's very difficult to examine just how they came about. At one time in my life I had thought that I come to a sense of peace with my childhood issues but those pesky coping skills rear their ugly heads sometimes and I must then admit that they exist and dig deep into my memories in order to understand just "why."

Basically all coping skills are,  a set of defense mechanisms we set up in order to protect ourselves from the harshness of our reality at a given moment. Most will begin in the psyche without even so much as a concious thought on our part and really never come to our attention until a situation reminds us of the traumas we endured. Take for example myself...as a child my father was a very loud, raging alcoholic and my mom and I never really knew what might send him into a tangent or even when this rage would happen.

I learned to make myself invisible and draw as little attention to myself as possible but on more than a few occasions in my twenties, when around someone who had been drinking and getting loud and obnoxious, I would suddenly find myself turning into that terrified, shy little girl who would do anything just to melt into the walls. I used to berate myself for that feeling but now, working through this book, I am able to see the past clearly and understand the root of my reactions.

Emotional pain is a strange creature and many of us in this world, count ourselves  very lucky to have had survived such childhoods... but on the same token, we must never let those traumas and resulting defense mechanisms that made us the survivors, define who we are today. That in itself seems to be a real challenge somedays but then I realize although  I AM a survivor... it doesn't control who I am as a person. 

Next week I will explain the first of several coping skills and how they became Shadows, effecting us in our rational, adult lives.