Tarot Shadow Work- Coping Strategies

This week I'm going to start discussing some of those wonderful coping strategies and to start off with the number one coping strategy...DENIAL!

Denial seems to be quite popular in today's society, for  example's sake, look at alcoholism ( a topic not so near and dear to my heart.) A person in denial might make excuses for his/her drinking and blame other people or circumstances. A person in denial might think that alcohol is not a problem because he or she holds a job or has never been in an accident.

Often if we look at the root issues that cause the alcohol addiction, we can see a history of childhood abuse, neglect and other problems. They then develope  denial as a coping mechanism and that leads to harmful behaviors which may have been avoided if they had dealt with their "Shadow-selves". Often the person is not trying to be dishonest with themselves and others, it is an unconcious process and  functions to "deny" that which cannot be dealt with on a concious level, due to  emotional traumas .  The next step in dealing with the denial is to take the twenty one Major Arcana cards and shuffle them while concentrating on what information is needed in order to know about denial. The card I drew was The Fool.

Looking at The Fool, I keep in mind the questions of... "What I may be avoiding...?" "What is it that I am afraid of...?" and "How does this card represent the "blind spot" that blocks my growth...?"


The Fool's Shadow Qualities are: not listening to my inner voice, refusing to try the "new", lacking playfulness and rigidity. I for one can truly speak from the heart when I say that the "blind spot" that blocks my growth is all of the above Shadow Qualities! I learned at a very early age that my inner voice could not be trusted since I was always told that (whatever the situation happened to be), it wasn't really as bad as I thought it was, playfulness was something to be avoided because I must remain guarded for I never knew when life would become dramatica and traumatic, so I was always poised for the storm so to speak.

As far as rigidity goes, things were always so chaotic so I set up a rigid routine for myself both emotionally and mentally just so I could have some system   that I could count on remaining constant (even if it was somewhat crazy, now that I look back on it.) So much of my childhood I have forgotten and really need to look at now, so that I can move past the blocked paths to healing my Shadow self. This book has really brought to my attention little coping skills my mind  has created, just to be able to survive my turbulent childhood.

Next week...I look at another coping skill, repression.


**Chariot Update**
My car is now running better than it has in months! It turns out there was a  little screw (supposed to) be holding the rotor in place. It had worked it's way loose and therefore the car  jumped time and ceased to run. I  can now reassure everyone that I just had a screw loose!

No Issues Here...

Well, It happened...I've finally turned into my mother! It's been a week and my feathers are still ruffled from my visit to the eye doctor just to find out that I now require bifocals. When did this happen...I was just fine wearing my contacts only two years ago...am I really getting older...I still feel like I'm twenty six years old...?! Well, there is that pesky wrinkle issue but I try not to focus on that too much. I'm now feeling sandwiched between the younger person inside and "acting my age" and it's a very strange feeling indeed. I guess it's like going through the five stages of grief written about by Elizabeth Kubler Ross I'm not quite sure if I should be depressed or stick to denial for a little longer. I used to look at those who wore bifocals as being old and now here I am and suddenly it doesn't seem so old! Well, being the rational (well, maybe not always) person I am...I'll just get a pair of those reading glasses that you see in the local drug stores and put off those bifocals for now.... Now, if I squint hard enough, I can see this blasted keyboard....

The High Price of Denial....

Today I find myself angry and feeling as if I have egg all over my face, it seems that my entry about Yancy yesterday has proved to be somewhat incorrect, well.... let me amend that... steeped in decades of denial. When I wrote my blog yesterday, I had just received a yearly update letter from my family in eastern Washington ( you know, the kind families send every Christmas to keep everyone updated as to what has occurred the previous year) and was very saddened to read about Yancy's death. Earlier today I found out that the part written about his passing was not entirely what really happened. It stated that he was serving in the National Guard in Iraq (which he had been) and had "died suddenly" however it failed to mention the fact that Yancy was on leave and at home and had decided to take his own life. My father's side has a long history of addiction and mental illness and of choosing suicide as an answer to life's rough patches. Family members down through time have come up with little excuses for these devastating decisions such as: "Auntie was reaching into the nightstand and the gun accidentally went off "... or..."He/she was so depressed, they just didn't see another way out"...and..."He/she always was the black sheep of the family." Why can't we see through the denial and teach our future generations that there are ALWAYS choices, we might not like what they are but suicide should never be one of them. Bring the shame out of the shadows for it cannot exist in the light. Mental illness and addictions are not topics to sweep under the carpet but to acknowledge and treat so our children and their children's children do not face the devastating results our family members have experienced before us . Such a high price for denial....