Tarot Tuesday-The Fool And The Court Jester

"Jesters do oft prove prophets." (V, iii, l. 73) King Lear

Designated as card 0, the Fool lies at the beginning of the Major Arcana, but also somewhat apart from the other cards. The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. He has all he needs to do, or be anything he wants. He is

Tarot Shadow Work- Coping Strategies

This week I'm going to start discussing some of those wonderful coping strategies and to start off with the number one coping strategy...DENIAL!

Denial seems to be quite popular in today's society, for  example's sake, look at alcoholism ( a topic not so near and dear to my heart.) A person in denial might make excuses for his/her drinking and blame other people or circumstances. A person in denial might think that alcohol is not a problem because he or she holds a job or has never been in an accident.

Often if we look at the root issues that cause the alcohol addiction, we can see a history of childhood abuse, neglect and other problems. They then develope  denial as a coping mechanism and that leads to harmful behaviors which may have been avoided if they had dealt with their "Shadow-selves". Often the person is not trying to be dishonest with themselves and others, it is an unconcious process and  functions to "deny" that which cannot be dealt with on a concious level, due to  emotional traumas .  The next step in dealing with the denial is to take the twenty one Major Arcana cards and shuffle them while concentrating on what information is needed in order to know about denial. The card I drew was The Fool.

Looking at The Fool, I keep in mind the questions of... "What I may be avoiding...?" "What is it that I am afraid of...?" and "How does this card represent the "blind spot" that blocks my growth...?"


The Fool's Shadow Qualities are: not listening to my inner voice, refusing to try the "new", lacking playfulness and rigidity. I for one can truly speak from the heart when I say that the "blind spot" that blocks my growth is all of the above Shadow Qualities! I learned at a very early age that my inner voice could not be trusted since I was always told that (whatever the situation happened to be), it wasn't really as bad as I thought it was, playfulness was something to be avoided because I must remain guarded for I never knew when life would become dramatica and traumatic, so I was always poised for the storm so to speak.

As far as rigidity goes, things were always so chaotic so I set up a rigid routine for myself both emotionally and mentally just so I could have some system   that I could count on remaining constant (even if it was somewhat crazy, now that I look back on it.) So much of my childhood I have forgotten and really need to look at now, so that I can move past the blocked paths to healing my Shadow self. This book has really brought to my attention little coping skills my mind  has created, just to be able to survive my turbulent childhood.

Next week...I look at another coping skill, repression.


**Chariot Update**
My car is now running better than it has in months! It turns out there was a  little screw (supposed to) be holding the rotor in place. It had worked it's way loose and therefore the car  jumped time and ceased to run. I  can now reassure everyone that I just had a screw loose!

Tarot Shadow Work- The Pain

This week, we move to the fifth position in the Star of Recovery... pain. The card I drew is The Fool which has the shadow qualities of lacking playfulness, rigidity and not listening to your inner voice. I personally am terrible at trusting my instincts or "gut" feelings because I learned not to trust my judgment and rely on those adults around me for their assessment of any given situation. That kind of blind faith in others' leadership is not always a good thing as in my case of an alcoholic home. Perceptions and the general view of life were distorted and looking back, I did not realize how that would affect me as I grew older.

The World card, missing the joy of the moment, affected my ability to experience joy because I was always worrying about what was going to happen next...how do I prepare and will it be another drama filled  situation. This created a certain amount of rigidity within me and allowed me to feel a like I may have had a certain amount of control over what was taking place in my life. Hindsight shows this feeble attempt to control my surroundings followed me to this day and it's difficult to just stop and realize it's okay, nothing terrible is going to happen if I take time out and just have some fun.

The human spirit needs joy and playfulness in order to remain healthy and I really try to stop myself when that old tape recorder starts replaying all those old messages in my head. I am learning to grow and move past that pain and anger and just stop and smell the roses. Suppressing ones gut impressions and keeping such a tight reign on oneself can result in many ailments like ulcers, high blood pressure and even stroke. It robs you of that childlike ability to approach life from a playful perspective and can make you old before your time.

Next week is the sixth position...The Gift Of Wisdom

Tarot Shadow Work- Secrecy

Today I'm blogging about the fifth position, secrecy. The card I drew for this position is The Fool...some of his Shadow Qualities are: Not listening to your inner voice... Fearing or doubting the future... Refusing to try the new... Lacking playfulness and Rigidity. Looking at The Fool, I ask myself "What rarely do I talk about...? "What are my secrets and my family's secrets...?"What do I fear that people might find out about me?"

The whole energy of The Fool is his naivete, immaturity and apparent foolishness and when applied to myself this definitely does not fit a mindset of these qualities but an issue of age. One of my secrets (that at one time I rarely if ever discussed with anyone) is that a few years after my father's suicide, I was molested over a period of time by a neighbor and when I got older was then raped by him.

This was such a venerable time for me... I was only twelve...headed into puberty and looked at this person as a father figure which left me open for him to take advantage of the situation. For many years I remained silent, cursing and holding myself responsible for what happened not ever realizing that this behavior might not be limited to just me since most child molesters rarely stop at just one victim.

It wasn't until I was nearly midway through my thirties that I actually approached this part of my past and looked at it as a possible root cause of my psychological issues involving agoraphobia and post traumatic stress ...if it was not affecting me much then, it certainly paved the way for these problems to take root and grow larger with the years. My reaction resulted in my inability to experience fun as others do or even kick free of that rigid mentality I kept tightly wrapped around me as a cloak.

I realize that now that my secret was not my fault and my driving need for a father should never have been an excuse for an adult in a position of authority to exploit. As far as how revealing this secret has affected my life...? I'm more open now as to how I communicate with others my age and I understand that what happened then is not going to haunt me any longer, I am a whole, worthwhile individual and I am going to allow myself to shine as brightly as I was made to do.

Tarot Tuesday

The Fool (numbered zero in most decks) is a card that somewhat resembles the court jester in medieval times because of his qualities of spontaneity and even a little folly. I look at this card as a beginning, starting out fresh with exuberance in the journey or adventure ahead and slightly naive (which is not always a bad thing but we must always be aware of that which is around us in order to avoid possible disasters headed our way.)

The image of the Fool can vary from deck to deck but is typically seen as a traveler carrying a small pack on a stick starting on his way to the new beginning that awaits him in his future. With no clear idea of where exactly he is headed or why, he is unaware of the fact that there is a cliff directly ahead of him. With him on his journey is also a small dog at his heels and often appears to be barking or trying to get the Fool's attention. One might surmise the dog is attempting to warn the Fool of danger ahead.

When interpreting the Fool, look at the surrounding cards that might give a clue as to whether the Fool in the reading is a warning or omen of good things to come. One of the cards that indicate there may be a warning to be heeded is the Hierophant...meaning you may be restrained by routine and convention...which may find you bored, unfulfilled and unhappy. A more positive card like the Judgement card can indicate new starts and rebirth that can lead you to expect a more positive adventure and beginning that may fill you with a sense of giddy expectation.

The Lo Scarabeo Tarot