Jun 25, 2009

Anxiety Show Thy Face

Last week, I started working with the Star of Discovery in "Tarot Shadow Work, using the dark symbols to heal" and the first position was the Tower. This week I will move on to the second position called Anxiety which questions "When do I get nervous, anxious, touchy or sensitive with others?" The card I drew for this point of the star is The World.

The shadow keywords for this card are missing the joy of the moment; looking for happiness outside yourself; wishful thinking; not taking charge of your life and it's choices and hanging on to the past. looking back on my childhood, I can see how these shadows developed but had never addressed them and let them follow me and become larger. I now must fill in the blanks about how fear has caused me to feel anxious.

My anxiety is an issue that I've struggled with for far too long and upon examining that fear I have come to realize that it likes to rear it's head when my routines or habits are interrupted or threatened. I absolutely hate change, probably because as a child there was so much of it and I was never really sure when or how it might occur. As an adult I must accept the fact that life is constantly changing and evolving and often is for my benefit whether I want it or not.

I must realize that when I feel anxious or sensitive around others it's time to step back and think to myself why I might be reacting this way...is it an issue of change that I am trying to resist?.....are there repressed feelings that I'm trying to avoid? I do carry a great deal of sadness but have always thought that the old adage "Time heals all wounds..." applied and sooner or later I would be able to look back on the once painful memories and eventually they would not hurt so much.

I think this card and it's position might take me a couple weeks so I will probably mull these things over and blog next week on anything new I may discover about myself.


Hibiscus Moon said...

This is good tha tyu are doing htis kind of work. I hope you discover what you are seeking.

Mouse said...

That's a wonderful spread Lizzie, bloody hard, but good all the same. I drew mine over a year ago ....... and still not worked through it all ...... brought up a hellavu lot of stuff for me at the time. Synchronistic I read your post about it maybe ....... perhaps I should go dig it out and go through again :)

I hope that what is revealed for you isn't unduly onerous or painful. Change is hard!!!

x Mouse