Little by little, over the past few weeks, I have discovered a few rather frightening realizations about myself. While it is true that I carry a lot of baggage, much of it I had always figured that I dealt with it...faced my fears, put them in the light... and examined them under a microscope and came to the conclusion that upon completing this aforementioned process...I was done with them and was ready to move on.
The goddess has a strange way of reaching out and gently (or not so gently, depending on my attention factor) reminding me that although I may have reasoned out that I had made progress, I really had just rationalized this baggage and shoved it neatly back into the file of "Things Yet To Be Dealt With."
Sometimes we are not ready to handle certain issues at that present time until later when we reach a breakthrough point... an "ah ha!" moment so to speak. I've been having an "ah ha!" moment for a few weeks but now as I examine these fears... these little inner demons, it suddenly becomes clear that now is the time that they are ready and willing to be worked through. Patterns that I have been hanging onto out of the fear of change no longer serve me and maybe change is not nearly as scary or insurmountable as I had previously thought.
I have discovered that it is okay to make mistakes... to show that I am human... and that sometimes risking the rejection of another is something I must do in order to live up to my higher purpose and greater good. It may be rocky...as life is seldom smooth sailing but I am now ready to stand up and say "I am ok...This is my skin and I kind of like how it fits." Today, I take my first few wobbly steps into healing old wounds and choosing to become the person the universe intended me to be.
1 comment:
breakthroughs like this are good for the body as well as the soul. i have a few of those every few months. but lately (because of the move) i have been having them more and more. it is scary and unexpected but in the end it is the best thing that has been happening to me. good luck with your breakthroughs
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